I put something in my DMP that challenged me. I wrote a powerful sentence that intimidated me. I asked of myself something that I couldn’t really imagine. And I repeated it with enthusiasm. I didn’t think I really wanted it. At least not in its piece by piece detail. I wrote in a slice of liberation for myself. It seemed daunting and I wasn’t sure I would like the person it would make me become. I kind of can’t believe I’m admitting it online. Gulp. 
I wrote, “The mental and physical addictions of my past are replaced with a healthier rhythm, and mindfulness toward harmony.” 
Gosh would this make me boring? Too productive? Not as much fun? Holier than thou? Am I even wanting this? Am I capable of it? What does that even mean? Which addictions? Too many to mention! Who would I be without such addictions? Where would I get the energy? 
These questions nagged at me in the many weeks before I finalized my DMP. What was I saying about who I’ve been? I beat myself up about it a lot. And that was the motivating factor. How much time have I wasted contemplating giving up certain time-wasters!?! The vicious cycle is alarming! If it’s in harmony with the laws of nature and I’m avoiding it…. ummm… hello? 
I didn’t know where I would start or how it would unfold. I didn’t have to. That’s what they said. So I bought in. Let’s just see what this powerful subby of mine can do! The statements that followed helped a lot. To create a steady practice of meditation, yoga, hiking, swimming, and walking. To spend my free time playing music, singing, crafting, growing food, cleaning and decorating my home. 
And one by one they fell like dominoes. There were plenty of moments – oh so many moments – when the addictions beckoned. And those following statements sang out to me. Get into the garden they said. Go paint they said. Learn a new song they sang. Climb that mountain girl! Go see a friend for 30 minutes. Make her day! 
I must say I’m in awe. And gratitude. The clarity in my heart amazes me. The freedom in my mind. The energy that surrounds me, the quality of it, is so wholesome. The rewards FAR exceed what has been left behind. I’m productive AND I have more energy. I’m inspired AND it all feels doable. I’m busy AND I’m at peace. I’m hustling AND I’m in balance. I’m in love and I’m totally free. 

Advertisements